You know, approaching this review, one might think the aim is to dissect a merely subpar movie. And yes, Foodfight! is indeed an egregious film. It’s genuinely awful. However, the saga surrounding this cinematic disaster is arguably more captivating than the film itself. Originally slated for release in December 2002, this animated feature finally emerged a decade later in December 2012. In the interim, the original project was reportedly stolen – perhaps a blessing in disguise. Yet, fueled by either unwavering belief or the daunting specter of a $45 million loss, the creators resurrected Foodfight!, birthing what can only be described as one of the most spectacularly terrible movies ever conceived.
Were Foodfight! just another run-of-the-mill Hollywood misfire, forgiveness might be considered. But the sheer, unmitigated awfulness of this film across every conceivable metric suggests it was crafted by, perhaps, a VFX-dabbling, let’s say, creatively inspired 17-year-old. Instead, this is a $45 million animated endeavor starring recognizable names like Charlie Sheen and Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson (billed as Dwayne Brady – an early indication of the film’s meticulous attention to detail). When you consider cinematic gems like Clerks, forged for a mere $25,000, or Napoleon Dynamite, created for a paltry $40,000, the question arises: how did Foodfight!‘s budget balloon past, say, $7.34? One plausible theory emerges: perhaps a significant portion of that $45 million was diverted to less savory pursuits. The on-screen product certainly suggests a production fueled by something other than clear-headed creative vision.
Words truly fail to capture the depths of cinematic sewage to which Foodfight! plunges. It is comprehensively, utterly, and irrevocably terrible. The animation style assaults the eyes with the grace of nails on a chalkboard. The sound design is a cacophony of poorly chosen effects. The plot meanders into incoherence. The characters are so devoid of personality they barely register as animated entities. And the experience simply drags on, and on, and on. Foodfight! transcends mere badness; it ascends to a level of awfulness that circles back to unintentional comedy. In fact, it’s so profoundly inept that it becomes genuinely, laughably bad. The credits rolling elicited tears – tears of relief that the ordeal was over, tears of regret for the wasted minutes of life, and yes, tears of bewildered laughter that such a cinematic abomination could even exist.
Dare to watch it once, and you’ll understand. You might even quote this review.
